Much more interesting than the near death experience itself is how it affected my life and what I learned.
I”™m a normal person with a normal job. I”™m a Physiotherapist specialising in Neurology and sports injuries and a teacher for Myofascial Anatomy and Taping.
When I was 14 I had a near death experience with an out-of-body-experience.
After visiting a friend I was riding my roller blades back home. I went down a steep hill (so much fun!) when suddenly I realised there were steps at the end of the pathway with no way to get around them, nor enough space to hit the brake. All I was able to do was grab hold of the fence next to me in order to stop, which I did. I fell and hit the nerve on my elbow so hard that my nervous system shut down.
I couldn”™t help it. Lying on the ground my brain logged out and blackness started to creep up my body. After a while, I came back slowly. Although it was getting dark and I didn”™t have a torchlight on me, I forced myself to remain in stillness waiting for my nervous system to recover. When I thought I was alright, I got up, which was a mistake. Or maybe not, considering the outcome of what followed.
The blackness came back, but this time it was thicker and darker. I sank back down on my knees and on to the ground. I could feel my body starting to cry. It was crying out of desperation because nobody was even around or could help me. I felt hot tears running down my face but at the same time saw from the outside how this crying little thing was lying on the ground, helpless.
It’s really hard to describe what happened next, for our human language is only one dimensional. Try and put a feeling or emotion into words and you will find yourself filling pages. I”™ll do my best to paint the picture.
This time my nervous system shut down completely. I could watch my breath and heartbeat become slower and slower. It was as if I became the cells of my body. I could feel their pain under the lack of oxygen. At the same time I could see my body from outside. I could see myself lying on the ground, not able to move my bones. It was totally natural and normal. This is where I learned how easy the process of leaving the body actually is. It”™s like puff, and you”™re gone. Out of your body, disconnected, but still aware.
A lady walked past me. To others it might have seemed she didn”™t care about a girl on the ground, but I could feel her emotions. I could feel her struggling to find the courage to walk over, but she didn”™t and kept walking past, taking her regrets and self-reproach for not being able to help me.
This was the moment I learned every time a person needs help and we refuse to give it, for whatever reason, we are actually hurting our self. Because then we have to face our self-reproach and question our behaviour. And this is where we start to think negatively about ourselves setting into motion a negative spiral. So if you can help, help. If you can”™t, you just can”™t.
When I realised my situation, that I was facing death because for some REALLY strange reason my body decided to stop working, I started to reflect on my life. But this was not just reflecting. It was as if everything happened once again, all at the same time, but from an altered view. I could feel what my death would be like for friends and family, feeling their grief and pain.
I could feel the emotions I had put others through during my life, based on how I treated them and what I said. This was where my near death journey made me realise there is no one on the other side waiting to judge us and our deeds. It is only us who does this. We are the ones who need to forgive our own mistakes and cope with them, for now it is too late for any apology.
And this is where I planted the seeds for my future life to make the most beautiful picture book, filling every page with as much love, passion and colour as possible. And also learning to never hurt anyone on purpose.
I realised that life is a school and everyone is trying their best to struggle along with the tools and knowledge they were given. This was where I learned that we take nothing with us but the treasures in our hearts; the loving moments we shared with each other, and forgiveness. We take the memories of our emotions and nothing else. Here is where I realised pride and ego disconnect us from others and fear is our biggest enemy, not hatred like we think. It is fear that makes us predictable and controllable. Fear of what other people might think of us or our endless fears of threats for our existence.
When the blackness started to creep up my body, I found myself in this dark space. I felt I was back in my Mum”™s belly again, where it was cozy, safe and warm. I felt an amazing LOVE that permeated everything. I found myself close to the pounding heart of my mother, which was the source of all life in the universe. It was incredible to feel this massive, vibrant, humming source of energy. It was beautiful, big and overwhelming and at the same time I was just in awe to feel this LOVE. Love was all there was. No space, no time, no negative emotions, just the pure, deep love.
After I came back, I missed these deep feelings, but after many years I learned meditation, which now takes me to that place whenever I want. In this blissful state, I had my “life-review” to decide whether I should stay or go back. I didn”™t want to go back into the heaviness of my body or back to being exposed to all the emotions and struggling.
But for some reason the urge to be there for my family and friends and help them through their struggles felt stronger. And so I went back.
I learned incredible lessons:
– I am not into material possessions. I find them “binding” and distracting in terms of ”˜the more I have, the more I have to worry about”™.
– I can never be bothered about beauty, fashion or beauty products, for true beauty comes from within.
– I really appreciate life in all its facets, no matter whether it is music, smell, taste, colour, food, sports, dancing, yoga or sex. These are things we can only enjoy as long as we have a body!
– I am very conscious of communication and treating EVERYONE with the deepest respect. For even a ‘bad person’ is only a learning soul really, and struggling much more in life than a ‘good person.’
– I love children and envy them because they are still filled with love and trust from the beyond they came from. (Until we start to fill them with fears and anxieties.)
– I love and respect my body for what it really is: A vessel for a soul. My body is a temple so it gets only the best organic, local, and filled with love foods.
– I”™m always up for a joke as laughing is the best medicine freeing the system from fears and giving your electromagnetic field, which is your shield, a good energy boost.
– I connect to mother earth and her elements a lot.
– I give thanks to God/Allah/the Nameless and the angels every night, thanking them for blessing me with everything that has happened.
– I give God a vessel to experience himself in his own creation.
– I bathe in the feeling that everything is interconnected, and that everything I think, say or do affects me and my surroundings.
– I love being artistic and creative for creativity is the way God expresses himself through us.
– Instead of judging others for what they say or do, I understand WHY they are doing it.
– I also know I don’t know anything better than any other person, for everyone knows what they need to know according to their soul development.