Why does happiness feel as if it is forever fleeting and what is the secret to its attainment?


The cultural chase for happiness
We live in a time where the pursuit of happiness has become a cultural norm — an endless chase, an Instagram slogan, a product we’re sold. Yet, the more we seek it, the more elusive it becomes.
We think happiness resides in our partners, our families, our homes, and our travels… and indeed, it can be found there. But the one who truly sees it is often not present — and this is where the suffering lies.
The timeless energy of happiness
Happiness itself is a pervasive energy. It has no clear beginning and no end.
Can you truly say what is the origin of happiness and what is its end? Happiness is a quality, a vibrational frequency. Humans and animals alike are drawn to it. We have been chasing it since time immemorial.
Yet why, after so many years of human existence, does it still feel as if we don’t have it? Why do we perceive it to be fleeting?
The illusion of possession

We tend to define happiness as something we “own,” bound to time. But we cannot hold it for more than a moment.
Is this because happiness itself vanishes? Or because the people, places, and emotions to which we attach it vanish?
Part of the reason our pursuit fails is because we mistakenly believe happiness has a source in the external.
When we tether our minds to external conditions, happiness will seem to run away — because everything in the material world is subject to time, change, and impermanence.
Seeing the one who perceives happiness
To cultivate a life we can truly call “A Life Lived in Happiness,” we must first understand who it is that perceives happiness.
Think back to your earliest childhood memories. How did you see the world? Was it “you and the world,” or simply “you”?
By the time memory forms, our minds have already walked the road of association — creating likes, dislikes, and conditioned responses to everything we experience.
This necessary mental process creates an invisible wall between what we perceive as reality and Reality as it truly is.
The veil of the “i”
We see ourselves as separate — the actors, doers, and receivers. We live with a veil over our eyes, chasing what we mistakenly call happiness.
Happiness is not a thing, a place, a person, an experience, or even a thought. It cannot belong to the “I.”
What we perceive as happiness in the “I” state is merely transitory pleasure. It’s a glimpse into an elevated frequency — but as long as we remain identified with the “I,” happiness remains bound to material desire.
The cycle of pursuit and attachment
The more we seek happiness in the external world, the more confusion clouds the mind.
In chasing it, we create stronger attachments to what we believe is its source.
In this cycle, happiness will always slip away. Eventually, life corners us — pushing us to escape the cycle, either through deep contemplation or suffering.
When we finally ask, “Why does it seem that I should be happy but I am not?”, we have reached a turning point.
Contemplating the answer opens a window into understanding the “I” more deeply — bringing us closer to a genuinely happy life.
Discovering the true self
Throughout our lives, we invest energy into our false identity, neglecting to explore who we are beyond thoughts, body, emotions, and roles.
Beneath all these layers lies the core of our being — the spirit, the soul, the observer.
Its nature is joy itself. It is timeless and selfless.
When we trust this inner guidance, we become more selfless. We begin to understand that “you” and “I” are just functional labels in the material world, but we are not limited to them.
Happiness is not something we “find.” It is something we remember.
The power of selflessness in sustaining Joy
Understanding the difference between selfish and selfless action is key to lasting happiness.
- Selfish acts bring limited results — tied to ego, change, and expectation.
- Selfless acts bring unlimited results — aligned with higher vibrations and universal love.
The more we act from selflessness, kindness, and service, the more freedom and joy we experience.
In this space, we are free from the pressure of fulfilling the ego’s endless desires. We begin to ask, “How can I serve?” instead of “What am I getting?” — and in doing so, we touch the deepest part of our being.
Living in the present moment
The true Self lives in the now — not in past regrets or future anxieties. It is free from expectation, greed, and possessiveness.
It simply gives. And only when we give selflessly, do we truly receive.
When we offer everything we have in service of a higher purpose and others’ well-being, happiness naturally awakens within us.
My personal path to this realization
I was fortunate to ask these deeper questions at a young age. My quest has taken me through travels, mentors, guides, and profound inner work.
Ultimately, I realized that what my mind wanted was not what my soul desired. My truest wish was to offer the gifts I have received in service of something greater.
This knowing was awakened and deepened through the inner and outer guidance of my Spiritual Teacher, Paramahamsa Swami Vishwananda, who selflessly serves humanity to awaken the divine within each person.
He will visit the USA this year, in August and September. You can meet him in New York and Miami and experience His grace.
A practical nightly exercise for growing happiness
As Paramahamsa Vishwananda teaches, before going to sleep:
- Review your day from beginning to end.
- Ask yourself: What is one thing I did well for someone else today?
- Then ask: How can I improve tomorrow?
This simple practice can plant seeds for deeper and deeper happiness over time.