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Scott blossom speaks on male sexuality and brahmacharya
Since Scott discovered yoga fourteen years ago, he has diligently explored the connection between yoga and sexuality through his personal practice. After his daughter was born, a friend gifted him a copy of Mantak Chia‘s “The Multiorgasmic Man,” and Scott began to make deeper realizations about the nature of male sexuality. Through his personal and professional observations, Scott has come to realize that most men in the United States experience a distorted and limited understanding of this powerful energy. He believes that men can reset and supercharge their sexuality through specific practices from yoga, Ayurveda and Taoism. We recently discussed this fascinating topic while Scott was making cornbread at his home in Berkeley, California.
Yogi Times: Scott, you have a deep dedication to yoga and Ayurveda and have dedicated your life’s work to healing. How does this relate to the realm of male sexuality?
Scott Blossom: We have such a sexualized media culture that men have a hard time imagining life without sex or sexual relief. It’s only in the last fifty years that being sexually active has been equated with being healthy, which in some cases is true. Taoism, Ayurveda, and yoga all focus on conserving your jing (life essence), or ojas (vigor). Principally, the means to storing up this nectar of life (amrita) is male control of ejaculation.
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From the Ayurvedic perspective, sexual release is very stimulating. It’s often not the first thing we think of someone doing to stabilize himself. Often there is a resulting tiredness – even falling asleep – but usually it’s more of a calm based on exhaustion rather than peace. To preserve the balance of the nervous system (vata dosha), one of the first things to do is stabilize the nervous system.
YT: What are the signs that would alert a man that his sexual energy is out of alignment?
Scott Blossom: If they become frustrated or angry with their partner when they’re not in the mood, that would be a sign that their energy is driving a sexual response rather than a true emotional state. They feel compelled to have an orgasm, and if they don’t, they don’t know how to handle that. The energy is too overwhelming for them.
YT: Are there any health conditions that could arise?
Scott Blossom: When someone gets addicted to having sexual release, they get into a pattern of stagnation and they feel bad. They feel like they have to do it, and they can feel uneasy and nervous and tense, and mentally more emotionally reactive until they get that particular perceived need met. Often what men do to sublimate that energy is pick up different addictions like overworking, over-exercising, marijuana, alcohol.
YT: How would you speak to the conditioning of male sexuality in our culture?
Scott Blossom: The sexuality that I learned from my father – the gender views and the objectification of women – just didn’t jibe with what felt right for me. I decided to take a break from actively engaging in sexual relationships so that I could distill my own values and views of women.
Orgasm is the most spiritual thing the ego can experience. If someone’s in an ego-bound state – a rajasic (restless, desire-driven) state – then they will be driven toward the height of whatever an ego-bound state can offer. Sex, drugs and rock and roll are intoxicating for the ego.
When sexual energy is contained, it forces the ego to dis-identify with one of the most basic and powerful habitual drives that people construct. There’s a fundamental shift about who you are if you let that go. Some of the tools of tantra provide a way of giving the ego that sweetness – that deep, down satisfaction – without sexual release being part of the equation.
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Both the Ayurvedic and the Taoist traditions recommend a hundred days of celibacy, or Brahmacarya. A hundred days is a season. It’s enough time for the limbic system – the basic drives – to be changed. My wife was completely supportive of this sadhana (practice) and we looked at it as a chance to cultivate emotional intimacy without using sex as a tool. Yoga is the path of liberation from everything, including something as basic and tantalizing as sex.
I’ve done this practice a few times, and the first month is a very intense shift. I really find it necessary to intensify my sadhana. I’m containing that powerful energy, harmonizing it and balancing it and creating a more sattvic (pure, peaceful) state for my bodymind.
YT: So what men typically think of as being a heightened sexual experience through the ego is really nothing in comparison to the state you can achieve by getting in touch with that energy in a yogic way?
Scott Blossom: Right! We are being fed a very narrow message about sexuality in our culture, and people that are exposed to mainstream media on a regular basis grow up with a very narrow, physicalized view of sex. Essentially, the shift is for the man to have a multidimensional view of how they’re developing sexual bliss and their sexuality. It’s not so much that they have to repress or let go of the physical; they’re temporarily letting go of this very obvious, very easy-to-access form of sexual experience in order to experience the more subtle realms, whose depth and sweetness is really profound.
YT: What else do you experience during your hundred days of Brahmacharya practice?
Scott Blossom: During the second month, I start to experience an ambient sense of bliss. I get more sensual joy just from being alive! My wife and I have learned that it is really important to enhance our skills of being sensual through loving touch, such as exchanging massages or cuddling. It’s like being on a three-month first date. During the second month, it becomes clear that my sole means of expression and of making connections is from the heart. I literally wake up and think of ways to shower my wife and daughter with love, so I can get my needs for intimacy met, because the only means I have for being really deeply satisfied is through the heart chakra! Guys in America are trained to live from the second chakra. Women are more naturally in the heart chakra and are culturally trained to be in that place as well.
The third month is so blissful. Things just get higher and more wonderful! I thank God that the yogis were patient enough to look into things this deeply. I taste something that I would have never, ever considered if I had listened to all the mainstream cultural cues. Too many men think they are ready to be sexual rock stars, and they haven’t even taken time to learn about the mysteries of their instrument. It’s like, “Let’s plug this in and turn the amp up to eleven!”
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