Solutions for a stressed out mom
Being a mother is full of extraordinary and memorable moments that make it worthwhile; however, it is emotionally and physically draining. Especially if you’re a new to motherhood, having children, protecting them from harm, and putting them first can make us tired and stressed out moms. So what happens when a mom never gets a break?
Trying to juggle all the duties of motherhood can result in a storm of tension, impatience and overwhelm. All of these things can lead to being a tired mom, stressed out mom, and even mommy burnout.
Why do moms feel so tired?
Because stressed out moms live on high alert.
One theory why moms are often tired and stressed out is hyper-vigilance. Hyper-vigilance is a heightened sensory awareness characterized by: abnormally high alertness, a continual scan of the environment for hazards, and low energy.
For parents, hyper-vigilance means being in heightened attention, fight-or-flight, and protection mode on behalf of our children who are too young to do it.
Why is this?
When our children reach the age of mobility, they begin to investigate their surroundings.
Things that appear to be safe, such as a chair, can unexpectedly become a source of serious injury.
Cleaning products and food processors become potential disaster zones. Even child-proofing your home, your children will attempt (even if just once) something dangerous to them.
We are the ones who notice the danger because they are unable to.
As a result, we are conscious even when we are asleep. When we are in charge of small children, we are always on high alert, tiring on a physiological level.
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Because a mom never gets a break.
Another reason why being a mom is tiring is because it is all-consuming. It’s lovely to be concerned about our children, and we have to.
But caring often means no off switch. Motherhood consumes you entirely, and we lose sight of aspects of ourselves that existed before our children.
Your day (and night) are directly focused on others. You’ve likely had much of the day to yourself until motherhood, even at work, you can go to the toilet without thinking about a little one. So what happens when a mom neber gets a break
Spending all day focusing on other people is very tiring.
We also have less time to pour into the things we used to do: pampering ourselves, seeing friends, and self-care rituals such as yoga.
You’re probably thinking, self-care? What is that?
Moms often lose sight and awareness of their own needs, self-sacrificing for their little ones. With no emotional off switch and less time to do things that recharge our batteries, no wonder moms are so tired.
Because moms pass judgment on themselves.
As moms, we are quick to be critical of our performance and focus on our mistakes rather than our achievements. We compare ourselves to other moms and feel like we could be doing more.
Every day, social media is a reminder that every other mom has: well-behaved children, excellent relationships with their partners, cooks nutritious meals, and maintains physically fit and healthy bodies.
We compare ourselves to a fictitious world, and, as a result, we continuously feel inadequate. Why are we so tired and stressed out? What’s her secret?
This judgment is what happens when a mom never gets a break.
What happens when a tired or stressed out mom never gets a break?
The body’s natural response to physical activity is fatigue. Fatigue is often caused by inadequate diet, lack of sleep, stress, or boredom, and treating these issues can alleviate it.
Fatigue can be a symptom of an underlying medical problem in some circumstances.
However, two new studies from the National Institutes of Health (NIH) identify a distinct sort of exhaustion described as “mommy burnout,” which has symptoms specific to the job of parenting.
Pregnancy and the continuing obligations of child-rearing can cause tiredness in mothers.
Mommy burnout is a type of fatigue that arises when tired moms feels physically and emotionally overburdened by their responsibilities.
Fears of not being good enough, giving up control, and losing our sense of self are common among mothers.
Mommy burnout varies from professional burnout. The symptoms are specific to parenting, such as physical and emotional exhaustion from trying to do too much, emotional detachment from children, and a general sense of parental incompetence.
Mommy burnout, unlike professional burnout, cannot be remedied by changing jobs or quitting the workplace.
There’s a clear feeling of being stuck in a circumstance with no apparent way out.
Mom burnout is common, and you are not alone.
5 tips to tackle being a tired or burnt-out mom
1. Schedule self-care time alone to reduce tired mom syndrome
We all know what happens when a mom never gets a break. When you can, do something that feels good for you, whether it’s doing some yoga, drinking herbal tea in peace, getting some fresh air in nature, taking a bath with essential oils, or losing yourself in a good book.
It’s important we still take part in the self-care routines that make us feel good and like ourselves. Here’s our guide to yoga poses targeted specifically at stressed out moms.
There are different ways to get this alone time:
Ask your partner or trusted person to take over for a set amount of time.
When your child is old enough, try introducing a period of independent playtime or a daily nap.
Get up earlier than your kids. Waking up early and squeezing in a 30-minute yoga routine or a workout could make you start the day with a sense of accomplishment (we don’t recommend this for moms with babies who are still finding their sleep rhythm).
However works for you, schedule some time to focus on what you need and to care for yourself. You have to take care of yourself to take care of them.
2. Stay connected to your partner, friends, & family.
Start by connecting with your partner. It’s too easy to push the blame for your exhaustion onto them. Thinking things like “they don’t help me enough!” can make us resentful.
Take the time to communicate with your partner about your experiences and needs. Instead of pushing them away, get closer and create a more meaningful connection.
Organize a date night or quality time with your partner and stay connected.
Reach out to your family and friends. Send a text, make a phone call, or even meet for coffee and a catch-up.
If you have other mom friends, even better as moms in similar situations will help you feel less isolated.
These mom friends will be going through the same challenging moments you are, they will know how it feels to be a tired or stressed out mom. Laughing your way through it or asking for help is an excellent way to feel more connected.
If you don’t have mom friends, a great way to make them is through baby classes.
Sensory play, swimming, and even little online yoga classes are fantastic for little ones and a great way of making friends.
Being a Mom is a busy and exhausting job, but staying connected to partners, friends, and family is essential to avoid mom burnout.
3. Be organized to avoid being a stressed out mom.
We know it’s not possible to pre-plan life but staying organized where possible can be a big help. Here are some ways to stay one step ahead as a mom:
Prepare pack lunches or baby food the night before.
Make a meal plan for lunches and dinners and a grocery list to take out the stress of cooking each night.
Pack up changing bags, backpacks, and school supplies the night before
Keep your home organized and items in the same spot to easily find everything when you need it.
Having a designated area for keys, shoes, bags, jackets, etc., can help prevent things from getting lost.
Keep a to-do list and up-to-date family activities calendar to avoid overlap or forgetting events.
4. Recognize that there is no such thing as a perfect mom.
Don’t let external or internal demands create unrealistic expectations of being a mom. The expectations we put on ourselves are mentally exhausting and create stressed moms.
Mommy burnout is characterized by the concern of not being a good enough mother.
But we will be better mothers to our kids when we learn to be good enough, rather than perfect.
Perfectionism has significant mental health consequences such as depression, anxiety, and feelings of low self-worth.
Understand that every family is different, and so is every mom.
More important is having a healthy relationship with your children and enjoying your time with them. Instead of looking for outside validation, lean into your feminine energy and redefine motherhood. Remember, there are no perfect moms.
5. Ask for help.
Ensure you seek the help you need if you find yourself overworking and becoming a tired or stressed out mom, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.
You don’t have to do everything by yourself. We all know the saying, “It takes a village to raise a child.” but how many of us ask for help when we need it?
Seek assistance from a partner, family member, or a trustworthy friend.
If you don’t have a sound support system, hire a nanny or babysitter for a few hours to help you out.
There are also plenty of mommy websites dedicated to helping by answering common questions, providing support, and assisting moms in connecting and interacting with each other.
No one expects you to do it all independently and not need help and support.
So to all the tired moms, burnt-out and stressed out moms; Please remember, what you are experiencing is normal and completely valid.
However, do not continue to suffer. We all know what happens when a mom never gets a break.
Practice self-care, reach out, and redefine motherhood, for there are no perfect moms but millions of incredible ones. We believe in you!