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With anything in life, the hardest part is always to start. I can make up a million and one excuses as to why I should wait for this intangible element referred to as "later," because then I will be more "ready."
Have you ever experienced common, distracting thoughts such as: “I think I might just wait until I have everything nice and neatly lined up in a row, with all the borders and edges of my personality smoothed and refined before I proceed. Once that’s sorted, then I’ll be able to move forward with grace and ease, as I’ll be electrified with productivity, and my mind will be abundant with vivid ideas and stamina. So what I’ll do is wait until I get to that point, and then I’ll begin."
Seems all too familiar, doesn’t it? And what I find to be even more annoying and frustrating is when you eventually wise up to your own procrastination, you call yourself out on it, and then you blatantly go and do the EXACT same thing AGAIN! Why? Is it because there is an idea that there is an abundance of time, and therefore it can be frivolously wasted?
More often than not, time is referred to as being linear. How about contemplating this idea: could time be spherical? This is a little mind altering, isn’t it? What is perceived as "the past" and ‘"the future" is available right now, as it is also happening in the present moment. Ok, stay with me here. If this is possible, which I believe it is, then there is a force that is continually drawing us backward into the whirlpool of time, thereby maintaining and recreating with what has happened previously. This is the familiar, well-paved, easy route.
This can be both a good thing and a bad thing. On the negative, if it’s a habit in which you are wanting to break, then the pullback into our old pattern of thinking and reacting is both powerful and overwhelming. Yet on the positive side, if it is something that has been achieved in the past that you believe to be "good," then the path back to that place has already been trodden, and you will reach that point much faster than you did the first time (as now you know where you are going!).
So if the past is happening simultaneously alongside the present, then so is the future. So when you are unquestionably being pulled into the direction of something new, perhaps it can be considered that it’s your future self-sending an echo to you, calling and beckoning to your soul to take a step forward. To venture beyond where you currently are and chart a new course into the distance of something new that is not yet clearly seen.
No wonder there is so much trepidation in wanting to wait until that unfathomable idea has matured into a defined concept, so there is some sort of a foundation to launch ourselves from. But what if the solidity you are looking for and the clarity you seek can only be found WHEN you move towards it? The future doesn’t come to you unless you take that first step forward. You have to bravely, courageously, and defiantly move in said direction. Only then will the haze begin to clear.
This inertia experienced can be seen as a voice from the future urging you forward, whilst a voice from the past wants to hold us back. What lays ahead is unfamiliar, potentially a lot of hard work, and maybe even a bit scary. But if you keep trudging around the same track, you relive and experience the same things you are wanting to be free from. It is only through breaking free and getting out of the hamster wheel that you begin to shift your perceptions and see life with more detail and beauty than the current blur of images that unfolds before you daily.
P.S. The hamster wheel is not just your everyday life blended together with your routine; it is the habitual stream of thoughts constituting your existence, which is dictated to you by your mind. Although there is a desire to get off this wheel, as you’re so exhausted, the momentum created continues to push you on. This is why meditation is so vital and important, as it enables you an opportunity to slow that wheel from its ferocious pace and to potentially get off it entirely.
When you move into a new realm, it takes effort, and it's easier to do nothing than to build up the stamina to propel yourself downward into a potentially new and unfamiliar road. Your mind argues: “It’s so much better to stay here, as it took so much to get to this point, and I’m unsure if I have the ability to cultivate that same forward momentum to climb again."
Welcome to the soul's journey.
Where you are now is not the top, it’s a plateau. And as nice as the view is from here (or maybe it is not), with everything being very easy and habitual (or maybe it’s not), you and I both know it might not be completely fulfilling. From here, there’s a unique opportunity to get curious about the current situation, and if this is where you would like to continue to reside. There is something so rewarding, uplifting, and soul-inspiring about overcoming something that which you never believed you could.
So start now, where you are, as you are. The time has come for you to stand tall and move forward. No more stuffing around this time and holding yourself back, as this in itself is exhausting. I think you and I are both at a point where we are finally over our own personal setbacks. I know I’m sick of hearing all the excuses as to why I can’t do this, such as that the time is not right, I don’t have enough training or the best one I’ve encountered: I’m unworthy. Well, you know what? I am. You are. You and I have always been, but we have been thinking too small to ever fully comprehend and accept the infiniteness of who we really are. So, let’s unite and begin this journey NOW! I’m as scared as you are, but I think we can hold hands and rise up together.
So I send this out, from my heart to yours, and I ask you to consider this: wherever your heart feels pulled to, take a step in THAT direction. There you will find, waiting, the presence that has been calling you closer to it. And as you begin to move ever more swiftly, joyfully, and lovingly towards it, it will double its steps towards you. It has been waiting patiently for you to step up, step forward, and embrace it.