how to communicate with your kids
As we have passed the threshold of the Age of Aquarius and survived the ending of the Mayan calendar, it feels to me as if we are all stepping into a new paradigm of deepening connection with all that is important to us. Nowhere is this more potent than with our children.
Kids yearn for a deep bond and loving relationship with their parents, where they are healthily acknowledged, heard and seen for who they are. It is from this place of open hearted connection that our children feel safe, honoured and loved. These are the prerequisites to being able to grow to their potential throughout their childhood, adolescence and adult years. This connection is the foundation of healthy self-esteem, self-worth and self-belief throughout life.
And it all comes from us…the parent!
By far and away the best teaching that we parents can give is healthy role modelling. In other words embodying the way we want our children to ‘be’. As parents we need to be conscious of our words, our tone, our body language, and the energy with which we deliver all of these, so that they fully reflect the messages we want our kids to receive.
So how do you communicate with your kids?
Do you speak to your children with respect, love and understanding, where they feel heard and accepted for who they are? Do you parent with healthy boundaries which are consistent without being inflexible?….or when triggered do you tend to bark orders at your kids, commanding their attention and molding their behaviour by domination and control?.
Healthy boundaries involve respect and love, and even if those boundaries need to be very firm, they will be understood and heeded much more readily when they are delivered with respect and care, rather than authoritarian domination, as in the old paradigm.
In the new parenting paradigm parents are being called to open our hearts to hear the whisperings of our children’s souls. This requires us to listen deeply with love and care and meet our children where they are, gently guiding them in the direction of our deeper knowing.
As parents we are waking up to the potential toxicity of our own reactivity, our unresolved baggage and our unhealthy expectations of our children. These may be born from our own unmet needs and beliefs that we took on board through life experiences many years ago, and which may still be unconsciously running the show, even though we no longer consciously believe it. We are being asked to be responsible so we no longer project these old ways onto our children.
As you become more deeply attuned to your own deeper knowing as parents, you will be guided in each moment for the highest and best for your kids. When you parent from the heart it is obvious what the next appropriate move is. There is an effortless flow to it with more flexibility and healthy boundaries, rather than a rigidity and forcing things to be a certain way, according to old outmoded beliefs or ‘shoulds’, that may have been used by your parents.
When we parent from the heart, modelling healthy values and following our deeper knowing, our kids will not only ‘’know’’ that they are loved but they will also ‘’feel’’ it with every fibre of their being. When children feel their parents unconditional love and connection, they will grow up knowing that they are worthy of everything this world has to offer and will be able to walk their true life path in freedom, purpose and joy.
If you are looking to deepen your relationships and learn the basics of authentic communication (with yourself and others) take a look at this online course – Transformative Communication – an easy and life-enhancing approach for better relationships.
Sharon Turton is a Sydney based parenting coach & counsellor. Her mission is to foster a deeper connection between parent and child. Sharon is available for consultations via phone or skype – connectingkidsandparents.com.au