journey back to love
I’m choosing to share this story, to bring hope to the lives of others. To remind you, that the light is always waiting, to surround you. Your darkest times in life, can truly be your greatest blessing, as they return you to your truth. The love you’ve been seeking, all along is within you, us, all that is.
I had a religous upbringing and was told the answers to believe, about life’s big questions. Who is God? Why are we here? What happens when we die? I’d pray as a child to be kept safe, for all the ones I love to be kept safe too. I’d dream of how beautiful heaven must be. Also I had a deep rooted fear, of judgement and damnation. A fear, I’d never be good enough in god’s eyes, that I might wake up from my sleep, in a burning fire, for all eternity.
As I grew older, this fear spread in to every area of my life. Made me a easy target for bullies. Don’t get me wrong, I have so many happy memories of my chilhood. Of joy, love, laughter and fun times. Still though, there was always that feeling, I’ll never be worthy. I’ll never make it back to my creator. I became more and more lost, afraid, desperate to know, I was safe. I ended up, trying to run from my fears. At a time, I was living with strangers, in debt, with one job after the other. I had no real friends and had relationships, that were painful and undeserving of my time and love.
Now, I have the answers, I was seeking and no, it didn’t happen over night. I’ve had to dig deep, to sit with times from my past and make my peace with the pain it caused me. I’ve had to talk it over, and learn to let go with love in my heart. To forgive myself and others, for the times, I’ve been hurt. To learn to trust, in body mind and soul. Allow myself to be seen, to be vulnerable and let love in from others, knowing that theirs, is the same love within me. I now have the gift to feel compassion for all life, for every being. As I see at the heart of all, there’s no separation between us. ANY of us, we are all created through love and it’s the core and essence of all. I’ve searched different belief systems, read and watched spiritual leaders and thinkers from all over the globe. The truth though to me, isn’t something that can be intellectualized. It breaks through boxes, tears off labels. Is blissfully, mysterious and infinite, yet I feel it so powerfully and profoundly.
The divine presence of my soul, that I can’t help desiring to put into words. So I can share with the world, how it’s changed my life. Can safely say, life has blessed me. Beyond what I could have ever imagined long ago. I have love, health, peace and happiness in my life. That alone is all I need, and yet, I have a husband I adore. Two adorable pet dogs, my family and friends. A wonderful house and my childcare business from home, that is the most beautifully rewarding and challenging experience. Brings so much purpose and meaning to my life, to know I get to make a positive difference to the next generation. I get the excitement and passion of building my dreams for the future, to become a proffesional speaker and writer.
Remember that, no matter what has caused you pain, love will always find a way.