When the snow finally lands, following a blizzard of chaos and wind, how is it that each delicate snowflake merges with another, landing so perfectly in the smoothest blanket of snow?
We know that nature has a perfect order, but sometimes we forget that despite all our technology and reasoning we humans still hold our origins in nature. Like nature, our chaos has a reason and when our internal snow globe is shaken and we have no idea how to control and catch all the falling pieces, rest assured there is a magnificent reason and lesson behind it all. The very conviction that ‘everything happens for a reason’ provides comfort in the middle of the storm.
Karma is often my perfect storm in disguise. When I’ve strayed far from my soul and the ego echoes loudly there’s usually a karmic lesson to be gained. If I ignore the call, karma takes the stern tack in the form of spiritual ambush until I finally wake up to the lesson!
The common definition of the word karma in Sanskrit is to perform a deed or action. One of the deeper yogic understandings however extends to explain that our actions and the outcomes are in some way predetermined by our past lives and ancestral lineage.
As the world becomes increasingly connected and exposed, the cultures and class concepts become more diluted. We also observe more focus on the conscious mind and exposure to psychology meaning even our brain’s wiring has more plasticity and room to change than we ever thought.
All this lends itself to options. We’re now aware that we can consciously choose our outcome and destiny rather than allowing our subconscious to determinate our fate.
As a captain of our own destiny let us bravely explore the two terrains: unconscious past and conscious present. When we unravel the parts that lead us to suffering and pain we can liberate this part of us for healing and forgiveness. This frees not only ourselves but everyone connected to us. Release and healing has an energetic footprint greater than we can imagine.
My personal story of healing karma and further awakening to my true soul is what makes me believe this is real. Following a recent upsetting family feud, a compelling force said, “Saira, figure this out. Change this Saira, forever. Now is the time.” Every morning I woke up wondering if the horrible nightmare had ended yet and I could just find peace with the ones I loved most. “Forgive and forget,” I was being told. Just pray. It’s your duty to always be there.
In the search for peace I discovered that I’d have to look into my karmic past. I sensed that I’d have to look at the darkest corners of our family if I was to find what no one had yet. What are the types of shadows that bear their roots in suffering? Abuse, addiction, violence, illness, betrayal, abandonment and poverty are a few of the major ones. They seem like bold and dark titles, but as all things lie on a spectrum, so are these shadows. In exploring them with an open mind, free of judgement, and with compassion, we’re able to see them for simply patterns subconsciously bestowed on generation upon generation, waiting finally for the brave pioneering someone, who is perhaps you, to break them.
I listed all the family members in my lineage that I could remember or imagine, and explored where the patterns lay. I was shocked and enlightened by the story and connections being drawn before my very eyes.
As I came to terms with my story, I felt every emotion run through me, a grieving cycle as I tried not to judge. The patterns were undeniable. History did repeat itself and with it a lot of pain.
I finally understood as clear as day that only three generations ago my ancestors who were technically indentured labourers, basically lived through conditions most similar to slavery. They uprooted from their families for an unknown voyage to become victims of a very dark fate. Dying young and having lived under extreme conditions, they passed on what they knew of how to raise a family from that framework. Through the lens of non-judgement I can see that their decision and choices really were all they knew and what they thought was acceptable at the time. Culture, sense of self, and how the world works was passed on and with it the shadows.
In modern day life any of these shadows have the power to manifest themselves in my own journey. I subconsciously felt drawn to or manifested situations that left me critically ill, in loss of my material worth and career and my total loss of self-worth at times. My internal story was that I didn’t deserve love. I didn’t deserve money. I didn’t deserve respect. I was weak. In effect, as a slave powerlessly falls victim to fate, somehow I was playing the same karmic record. However, just like in the African times of slavery, the harshest of life conditions did force some of them to discover a strength and peace inside that defied all outer circumstances.
We are not our shadows. Humans are fundamentally all born loving and have the capacity always to eventually turn back to love. When we discover darkness within our family tree, know that they were manifesting an outcome based on so many beliefs passed down before them. Deep down people rarely intend to consciously hurt each other. If they could, they would much rather choose love. If they’re unable to, then they are suffering from many layers of shadows.
We were given the family we were supposed to have for the hidden karmic lessons we were destined to learn. In taking the brave path of discovery and healing, we can release the shadows not only for ourselves but for generations to come ahead of us, and also with ripple effects to our current and past family. Energetically, clarity of truth, love, and forgiveness are forces of change and the tools to transmute the shadows back into light.