The foundations of a healthy love relationship
Love can be assumed to result from a sexual attraction, a need to meet, or a wound to heal. It can be seen as the meeting of twins or complementary spirits or, prosaically, as a pot that has found its perfect lid.
Spiritually, it is the meeting of souls that have recognized each other. In quantum terms, it is located at the crossroads of identical vibrational frequencies and born from the conjunction of the vibratory level of similar Beings.
Whatever its reason, love cannot endure in its name the suffering that is antinomic to it. And yet, some love relationships get into the slippery ground where partners sometimes get lost until they move away from the feeling that made them unite.
I am not going to dwell here on the obvious and often unconscious reasons that make us fall in love, but rather on the signs of good health of a couple.
Thus, this article will find an essential key for the evaluation of the health of your couple.
Falling in love doesn’t hurt; quite the opposite.
If falling in love, as the Quebecers nicely put it, is a vertiginous fall, it should not hurt. Of course, it can make you feel dizzy, gently bump your chest, make butterflies fly in your stomach, and make you lose sleep or need to eat for a while. However, falling in love should not leave any scratches.
Also Read>>> Conflictual vs Benevolent Relationship
So being in love doesn’t hurt, and this feeling even has unsuspected healing powers. Indeed, the meanders in which love sometimes leads us are not unrelated to the possibility of healing certain wounds and traumas—provided being aware of it and doing the healing work.
Perfect and healthy love embraces its imperfection.
During the honeymoon period, at the very beginning of the relationship, everything seems to work perfectly in the couple: the interchange of desire and curiosity for the other, the desires, the projects, and the shared fundamental values say the evidence of the meeting and the love between the partners.
However, all this is not enough to guarantee good health and the blooming of the relationship.
It is a vital sign of good health of a couple, which must be brought to the critical attention of lovers; a sign that is a fundamental criterion for the balance of the relationship.
The quality of the relational space in which their love story is played out and reinvented must offer them the possibility of being themselves (their Self and Ego) in complete safety.
In other words, to evolve in their conscious and unconscious dimensions without danger.
The imperfections, dualities, complexity, and totality of the Beings that meet in this commonplace of love must be accepted and welcomed with respect. There is no need to disguise oneself or to play a role in preserving or maintaining this relational space.
Only authenticity and the truths of each person must prevail; the freedom to speak and listen to each other is in the spotlight, thus restoring the dignity of benevolent communication.
Healthy and fulfilling love create confidence that excludes any danger of being oneself and invites us to embody our authenticity.
Healthy love in question.
Here are five questions for couples to ask each other to start a discussion and assess the health of their love together.
- Are my needs respected and heard?
- Am I authentically myself in the presence of my partner?
- Do I feel safe being myself in my relationship?
- Am I free to discuss any topic of conversation with my partner?
- Are trust, honesty, respect, and support for each other the foundation of our relationship?
- Is my relationship helping me to evolve and grow?
For the exchange generated by these questions to allow everyone to express themselves authentically, I invite you to read the article “conflictual versus benevolent exchange” (in French).
I recommend you take the online course by Sophie Parienti and Jesse Gabler, Transformative Communication For An Extraordinary Relationship!
B. Gerber Fleury loves to write, share and inspire. Mother of four, author, she can be reached here on FB.