The choice to follow your inner voice is yours; you just have to make it. Doing so often means the difference between living your life from love and living it from fear. Fear can have a much louder voice and is often backed up by rationale and excuses. A coach once said to me, “When are you going to stop living for your excuses and start living for results?” The choice was mine and my excuses were all justified, not only by me but by other people as well. My friends and loved ones were all to willing to collude with me in supporting the reasons and excuses that I put forward but all this was just me listening to and accepting my inner voice of fear.
We are often more comfortable listening to the voice of fear because it seems safer in the short term and we are prone to choosing the path of least resistance, the path that seems least likely to challenge us. But many of us find that after many years we are dying inside as a result of not having listened to our inner voice of love, which, though it may feel uncomfortable in the moment, really does lead us toward that which is best for our own well-being. We have been conditioned to be safe and cautious.
Realizing this and learning to differentiate between fear based on insecurity or lack of confidence and fear based on valid instincts of self-preservation is the key to stepping out of fear and into love. There was a moment in my own life when I realized that I had been listening to that inner voice of fear for too many years. It was a turning point that changed the direction of my life.
My daughter, who was four years old at the time, came up to me one morning during a very stressful time in my life and said, “Daddy why do you lie to me?” I was devastated. I loved my daughter and would never lie to her or anyone for that matter. I just did not lie, I was a good person. All my defenses went up reasons along with all my and excuses until I finally allowed myself to take it in and she explained that I always said I would come to play yet never did. It hit me hard that not only was I lying to my daughter, my son and my wife but most of all I was lying to myself.
The voice I had been following all those years was one of fear, not love and it was showing up in my health and in the health of my family. That moment changed my life and I chose to stop listening to fear. I had to face some tough challenges but the beauty is that from those challenges I became stronger and was able to follow my inner voice and choose not follow fear. I had woken up as if from a great sleep and started really wanting to live my life, for the first time in many years.
We all have fears that lie deep within us but we also are equipped with the tools we need to silence those fears and to listen to that other voice inside, the one that comes from love, love of self and love of life. The key is to recognize or acknowledge whether the voice you are listening to works for you or not, given where you are in your life. If all you can hear is a negative tone when you listen, then remember that. That is a choice and you can still choose to hear the other voice within.
Create some quiet time away from distractions where you will not be disturbed. Think of all the different parts that make up your life right now, partner or loved one, career, recreational time, family, finance, the space you live in and so on. Write down your biggest fears relating to one of those areas on a piece of paper. Sit with your question for a minute or two and really feel it; take it in.
Then take a deep breath and allow your infinite wisdom to answer you as if you were your closest friend. Write down your answer. Take in the wisdom you have just given yourself. Choose to follow that which brings you joy knowing that you have the power, the insight and the wisdom to create your life as guided from the inner voice you know so well.
Hermas Lassalle is available for coaching. firstname.lastname@example.org