The intention to create a specific outcome for our life is often at the base of our suffering.
“When I am there, I will do that.”
“When I have this, I will be happy”
“When I finally stop doing that, everything will be fine.”
All thoughts like this, are excuses for not living an extraordinary life. So why do we make up so many excuses? Could it be the addictive behaviour to keep doing things that are indeed creating self-inflicted suffering?
In short, yes it is.
Let’s look at our relationship with food as an example. We know what’s best for us and what we should eat, yet we still go for that sugary or fatty delight again and again.
We even do this with our relationships with people, constantly repeating that same habit, staying in relationships that create a life-diminishing sensation that leaves us feeling powerless over and over.
It’s become more evident that most of our thoughts and actions are being directed by our emotional addictions; to which we have very little freedom from unless we first and foremost become aware of them. Let me show you how.
Here’s a little exercise for you this week: Write down the 5 top emotions that keep showing up in your life, and which seem to repeat themselves constantly (frustrated, annoyed, etc.)
Now, take a deeper look at them and ask yourself these 2 questions:
1. How often did you feel these particular emotions as a child?
2. Can you associate any of these emotions with a need of yours that was not met?
I feel sad because my need for being supported was not met. I feel frustrated because my need for consideration was not met. I feel sad because of my need for connection as not met.
By recognizing your emotions and unmet needs you can get closer to a deep sense of clarity about what is often at the source of your suffering.
This is the first step to living a more powerful life, being very clear on what is it that you need. Once you have identified this, you can start finding the best resources around you to fulfil those needs…and avoid the ones that don’t.
Have a go, and let me know what you discover!
You can find out more about Sophie’s coaching – sophieparienti.com