It looks like you are using an AD Blocker, we understand and we would like to share that we are an online media living partly living off advertising revenues. Please turn off your blocker or Subscribe to YOGI Times and we will turn off the ADs for you for one year.
|About us | Contact us | Guidelines | Opportunities | Wish List | LOGIN | SIGN UP TO JOIN|
Generally, most people believe that their relationship isn't working due to their partner. Some are able to see that they might have a part in the situation, and in some cases there is an awareness that the relationship is an equal creation. As a guide, it's good to think of a relationship as three distinct identities. There are two individuals with their unique identities and the relationship which has its own identity.
There are conscious and unconscious "contracts" that we enter into with each other about how we will behave. To the degree that we are conscious of ourselves, we can bring consciousness to our partner and relationship. In other words, if we are aware of our thoughts, feelings and actions, it becomes easier to understand what is truly happening in the relationship.
So what does a healthy relationship look like?
Balance is created when I am me, you are you, we are we, but I am still me and you are still you. In practice this requires a clear understanding of our own needs and boundaries, the regular communication of these to each other and the active development of how the relationship can meet both partners' needs. The inner belief systems, survival instincts and behaviours will be acted out strongly in relationships and so can create the opportunity for
relationships that are amazing, terrible or anywhere in between.
Active and aware communication is a critical foundation for any
relationship. There are ways, both verbal and non-verbal, to communicate that
will create a safety, openness and flow that can lead to true intimacy. We
have the capacity to engage in physical, emotional, sexual, energetic and
spiritual connection, and when we are in flow with ourselves, that connection
is possible at all levels simultaneously. Reich described a "Full Body Orgasm," where the flow is so intense that the orgasm reflex leads to unconsciousness!
In this article series, I would like to discuss some of the things that we can do to create that grounded reality within ourselves, our partners and the
relationship. In couples work, we identify the dynamics that are primary
i.e. my things and how they play out, secondary i.e. my reactions to your
things, and relationship i.e. what does the relationship identity look like.
We can choose to be a passenger or the drivers in our relationship. True
partnership comes from a place of humility and respect that allows both to
be themselves and still grow and learn together.
Ranil Sharma is a Core Energetics Leader that runs workshops, intensives and
private practice in Australia and Bali. To read an interview with
Ranil - ranil-sharma and a review of one of his workshop - core-energetics-workshops