the making of me
I grew up the youngest of six kids, always the baby of the family, and was never the sharpest tool in the box. I had a lot of difficulties in school, and was in special needs classes. I experienced a lot of bullying both from kids, teachers, bosses and colleagues. Over the years, even though I had friends, it ate away at my confidence. Never feeling good enough, or smart enough, this belief was reflected in the jobs I chose, as I went from one to the other, never feeling truly happy or fulfilled. I shied away from jobs with big responsibilities as I always thought I'd fail.
Still I thought, there must be more to life and to me, than what I was experiencing. I longed to do something fulfilling, yet I knew I'd need courage to discover what that was for me. To follow my heart and take a leap of faith, discover my own path and become independent in my work. It was then I decided to take myself away from retail and office work, and try something new. I remembered a few people saying that with my kind, friendly nature, I'd be great working with kids. I soon discovered, after getting work at a nursery, that they were right.
Kids brought a whole new meaning and purpose to my life. They looked up to me for support, guidance and a positive role model. They didn't judge how smart I was, how I looked or dressed, or how popular I was. We valued each others' uniqueness. For the first time, I started to believe I can make a difference in the world. I can contribute to the next generation by helping them discover and celebrate their own gifts and personalities and also to see the good in each other, to build strong friendships and grow in confidence. I got qualified, and my confidence and self esteem grew. As much as I loved to work with kids, the cliques I found myself working alongside made me uncomfortable. I felt like I was back in the playground and just wanted to enjoy the new role I'd found that I loved so much. I could keep going from job to job, just grin and bear it, or be my OWN boss.
With the full love and support of my incredible husband, we moved to a new city. We bought a big, beautiful house where I could run my own business from home. It's been nearly two years now and I am blessed to say, I've made a success of it. It's pushed, tested and challenged me more than words can say. It has ripped me out of my comfort zone. Working alone had to be the most daunting part of it, I've experienced. All the responsibility began and ended with me and I've been solely responsible for everything. There were times I wanted to give up, yet I've always shaken it off. As I know, it's thanks to this experience that I've discovered how much courage I have inside of me and also how much I love to connect and share my life with others. I am more of a pack animal than a lone ranger. So time for the boss to make positive changes.