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We all have re-occuring patterns and issues that happen over and over again in our lives. Be it the same kind of unhealthy relationships or negative experiences. When we are ready, we have an opportunity to shift that pattern. That opportunity comes just as that huge difficult obstacle shows it’s pretty little face to you again. Your move is to hopefully make a different choice and break that pattern. Sometimes we have no awareness around this pattern until we have gone through it enough times and decide that this MUST change.
These patterns can be so unbelievably normal in our lives that we find some what of a comfort in them. We can even get so comfortable that it would seem to live life with out it, is unfathomable and uncomfortably foreign. Who are you without that issue? Can you imagine life without it?
I want to share a recent pattern that I have finally chosen to break. It all starts in my childhood. Of course, right?! My Dad checked out as a father when I turned 4 years old due to alcoholism. He spent much of my youth on the streets and in jail. I saw him from time to time but he by no means was a present figure in my life. You could imagine this having an impact on me?
Yes. It was a perfect recipe for learning to believe I was not good enough or lovable enough to a male figure sticking around. I attracted many relationships that paralleled this. I attracted men who were not quite willing to commit to move forward as a couple. And YES, I have done a great deal of work around forgiving my father and knowing and trusting his choices had nothing to do with me. That doesn’t mean you won’t keep attracting the pattern. You must have the physical experience and choose a different choice. The pattern finally shifted for me when a recent relationship ended in a way that again was similar to what I had experienced as a child. Instead of believing the thought that that person should do whatever it takes to be with me and not leave because of their own issues, I shifted my perspective to – This TRULY has nothing to do with me. In fact, what a blessing that this person is living their truth. Sometimes leaving is better than sticking it out. In fact it might have been the best thing for you and for that other person. Go where the energy is flowing and there is movement. Listen to your heart and what feels lighter versus heavier. That can be your guide.
Another HUGE realization I had was that these men were actually leading me to myself. I came to realize I was losing myself in relationships. I preferred to be with someone in their life rather than be and live in my own life. I had never fully committed to MY purpose or what I want until recently. When that pain of them leaving hit me again, for the first time in my life, I fully welcomed and tolerated that pain of that partner leaving. I chose to move forward into opportunity and my purpose instead of dwelling on the pain. This was truly a pivotal moment for me.
I’d like to ask you to imagine what life would be like without YOUR re-occuring pattern. How would that feel? Incredible I would hope. The life your heart desires is possible. It’s on the other side of that pattern. You will be amazed at the space that opens and potential that unfolds when you let that unhealthy pattern go. Maybe it’s time to see what’s on the other side?
To learn more about Monica or her Mind Body Healing work go to - monicaloren.com