what to do if my partner is not on the spiritual path?
why spiritual awakening can break relationships
Can you have a connection with someone that’s not spiritually awake? In awakened dating, how do I avoid spiritual awakening marriage problems? Is it essential that, at some point, our partner awakens to their conscious self? When do I know it is time to leave my partner if nothing seems to change in our spiritual awakening marriage problems? How can I make him/her understand this path I am interested in?
These are some of the recurring questions I encounter in my coaching sessions.
It’s a very sensitive subject, as many people struggle with a lack of openness and interest from their partner about their spiritual path.
This lack of desire to be spiritually awake is indeed, at times, what brings a couple to the breaking point.
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Most couples have no actual marriage problems
Interestingly, I find there are rarely ‘real’ spiritual awakening marriage problems in a relationship; most of what I get to hear about from couples are merely miscommunications and misunderstandings that can easily be talked about and dismantled in just a few sessions.
To solve spiritual awakening marriage problems, one can re-establish clear communication.
However, when one is on the spiritual path and starts to experience some level of being spiritually awake, and the other partner does not recognize that changes are occurring in the mindset of their partner, a deep gap between the two can start to form.
This is usually when partners are considering ending their relationships.
In awakened dating, there are many ways in which the unconsciousness of the person you live with can manifest.
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Maybe they start with a negative mindset and interpret everything you do spiritually as wrong or a direct challenge to them.
It could escalate to them expressing anger, resentment, and even aggression toward you, being verbally or also physically abusive.
My partner judges me yet stays diplomatic
With spiritual awakening marriage problems, if your partner is on the lower end of their unconsciousness, it might still be possible to handle being with them.
They might not share an interest in what you are doing or experiencing (i.e., they don’t feel like joining you to your next yoga class or cacao ceremony, or they don’t particularly enjoy listening to all these babbling spiritual talks on Youtube), however, in your connection with someone, they still respect your choices and your desire to walk this path.
They are not in opposition to it and even at times encourage you to do so, as it might be useful “for you!”
Your spiritual evolution might not be attractive to them, but they are not opposed to it.
My partner becomes hostile about my seeking
Another level of unconsciousness could be that your connection with someone becomes a bit hostile as they see you take on new behaviors like meditating, reading spiritual books, or joining inspiring groups of people to experience new things.
There is a big difference between the two kinds of partners mentioned above.
In both cases, there is unconsciousness; in awakened dating, neither may understand what you are doing.
However, if, in the second case, your partner starts getting angry, or bashes you for what you are trying to shift within you, then you ought to start being observant of what happens to you when this occurs.
What you can live with or not live with is really up to you.
The most important point I would like to make is that it all depends on what you can handle.
In awakened dating, you also need to maintain a state of consciousness and self-love.
Yes, your connection with someone can always change, and sometimes the most seemingly unconscious person can suddenly become spiritually awake.
Have you ever observed someone with a big ego and seen how sometimes a life event can change them entirely?
As if their old behavior is dissolved into a new way of acting and being? (This is often linked to a particular event in their life, like a disease, a sudden loss, etc.) Sometimes they may start to walk on that path alongside you.
If they are very unconscious, it typically takes a life-altering event to dissolve the ego.
At this point, they no longer have the energy to maintain the role-playing by their ego.
They might open up to a whole new outlook on life which provides the possibility of a more profound presence.
This is when your connection with someone who might have otherwise been closed off, judgemental, or even righteous can open up new channels of clear and loving communication.
And yet, it may never happen.
This is for you to feel and determine how long and often you can find yourself experiencing this gap with the person you share your life with.
It is crucial as well to be present with yourself and your own needs.
So, if there is abuse or an even more pronounced manifestation of unconsciousness — can I live with such a person?
One easily remains with physical abuse in the hopes that your connection with someone becomes more conscious at some point.
Or in another instance, that you will be the one to transform them.
However, this might be part of the delusion you maintain to avoid truly addressing that self-love.
It is incredibly beneficial to stay alert and vigilant and observe yourself in that person’s presence.
When you use your guidance system, you will always intrinsically know what to do. It’s all about connecting with your intuition! The right course of action begins with refusing to be sabotaged by old patterns.
Emotional patterns include the fear of being alone, fear of the unknown, and fear of financial or physical security.
These patterns are highly common, and you, too, might be held back by these patterns.
But, if you are present, you can start recognizing these patterns.
Thus moving beyond spiritual awakening marriage problems, so you can be fully responsible and in charge of your life.
Also Read>>> Letting go of emotional patterns
Providing the space to be spiritually awake
One of the most effective ways to be more present with yourself is to take note of your internal dialogue.
This can also help you realize what your needs are as well. What are some of the repetitive thoughts you are having about the relationship? How can you be more aware of your patterns?
The practice of NVC, or nonviolent communication, can make you much more aware of your emotions and needs.
Once you improve your communication with yourself, it becomes easier to identify what creates suffering within the mind.
If you are interested in learning more, take a look at my online course, Transformative Communication, and empower yourself with the skills to support you in staying fully present and aware of your relationship.
Also Read>>> NonViolent Communication technique article.
In essence
You are the only person who knows whether you can sustain your spiritual practice in such an unconscious setting.
Perhaps, and most likely, you won’t be able to stay long in the relationship.
The path of consciousness and being spiritually awake ultimately takes you toward unconditional self-love.
If you are looking to deepen your connection with someone and learn the basics of authentic communication (with yourself and others), take a look at this empowering online course – Transformative Communication. – an easy and life-enhancing approach for better relationships in awakened dating.
For personal coaching from the author, communication and relationships coach Sophie Parienti go to sophieparienti.com
