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Yoga Yenta’s Guide to Dating…

Yoga Yenta’s Guide to Dating…

by Doris Schwartz doris schwartz
Live Healthy | Inverted Asanas


Yoga Yenta
I love yoga. I love boys. Thus, one would think that I love boys who do yoga. However, sometimes life is just not that simple. On my path toward subduing my ego, listening to my inner voice and seeing the divine in everyone before me, I’ve encountered some major babes, half naked and sweaty, two-feet away and grasping a rubber mat.

Why my “twin flame” has yet to materialize from any of these encounters, I may never understand. Could it be me? I cannot fathom -- not with my rhinestone flower pedicure and lower back tattoo… Let out that breath, my friends, as I am learning to recognize the potential signs of an unsuccessful yogi date before my blissful yogic state goes bust.

Bhakti buster #1 – Bad pick up lines. “So, how about going out for a soy mocha sometime during the next earth cycle?”; “I couldn’t help but notice your warrior one’s.”; “Wow, you’ve got really amazing energy.” Oy.

Bhakti buster #2Raw vegans. Love the concept and commend the effort, but really, must true love come at the expense of sushi? Don’t know about the rest of you but I’m wary of a man who doesn’t enjoy raw tuna.

Bhakti buster #3 – Tiny bikers shorts. They’re cute on girls. Need I say more?

Bhakti buster #4 – Met during a week of silent meditation. Didn't last. Should have figured that would happen after focusing on "life's impermanent nature" for 16 hours a day.

Bhakti buster #5 – Doesn't need sex. Something about the kundalini energy connecting with the divine spirit from his 7th chakra point. Yeah. Whatever.

And let’s not overlook the married ones who feign spirituality in order to hang around in hot tubs with naked girls.

Luckily, I’ve learned something from all of these experiences. Each has been a stepping-stone on my journey towards an open heart and unconditional love. But I wonder, are those hot bodies with enhanced flexibility and stamina worth it? But, of course. It’s all of our idiosyncrasies that make each person special and maybe even lovable. Perhaps I should reconsider that soy mocha?

Om Shanti & Infinite gratitude,
Yoga Yenta

Other articles by Yoga Yenta: Yogi FashionYoga for sale, Silent vacationMatt Etiquette   





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