Press "Enter" to Search

love lost in the ether?
Photography by kendell mcleod

love lost in the ether?

by Ellen White ellen white
Cultivate Relationships | Couple

Do you feel your desire for love and connection is getting lost in the Ether? Lost in that space where simple genuineness gets confused in an overly stimulated society.

Today’s reality offers a call for love around every cyber corner. There are many technologically-driven ways to meet people and potentially “connect.” Yet every one I speak to lacks a fundamental connection with anything real. Everyone wants love, but very few seem to get the real thing. Why? Where are we getting lost? Where are the signals mix-crossing?

With overabundance comes a deficit of decision. Everyone is “searching/browsing”, texting, messaging, looking, profiling and aiming in the direction of “love” without actually landing anywhere. It’s like shooting signals up in the sky with no vision or thought as to what’s actually possible on the ground. A WORLD LOST IN E T H E R!

In the day to day we remain alone and wondering why. We feel we exert a lot of energy and effort in to calling in the one, but nothing stands truly in front of us. Even when someone is standing in front, it’s as if nobody is really there. Where are we? Why can’t we deal with the true presence of another person? Why must we always want, while at the same time remain distracted and accept never getting or like what we are getting. Is our intention of constantly wanting, and searching, taking us away from the experience of actually “having” or “getting” by keeping us in an ethereal dimension of constant desire? What signals are we truly sending and/or receiving? Are we looking up and around? Or can we see the potential permanence of a life straight in front?

(In the world of online dating, this would be akin to the experience of constantly browsing, and then not truly enjoying the actual “physical” date, therefore wanting to go back to constantly browsing.)

We all live in a big mirror today and it’s uncomfortable. It’s hard to escape the reality of our selves, our lives, as well as the actions of others. Everyone and everything is amplified. We can barely stand to sit with genuine presence and the silence of grounded reality. We are all in pain. And with pain comes discomfort and a lack of staying still. Call it ADD. Adult Deficiency Disorder. It sounds like “I can’t deal with my life, I can’t deal with my responsibilities and what’s happening around me, but I must keep going.” And in this mess of emotions, we are still hoping to find happiness by falling in love with another? I know I get carried away in this hopeful thought. Aaaahhh, the escape of l o v e. But how can we get there if we can’t get there because in between the sigh of hopeful love and a potential partner, lies cross signals of massive interference blocking the way.  The entire industry of “love” is lost and confused, and it must be only something “ethereal” in space that knows what’s going on, because we humans surely don’t.

The desire for love remains unchanged. It’s an innate universal longing. Many of us have given up on success in this area with another human being, and therefore we all are getting pets. Through our pets we can experience the exchange of emotion, intimacy on some level, and unconditional acceptance. I see people talk “baby talk” with their pets, smile, poke, laugh, gesture, hug, kiss and emote in a variety of ways, and yet when faced with another human being, they freeze up with little emotion or expression. It’s sad to see how happy people can get with their pets, and how few can express this with another person in a relationship.

The call for intimacy is so important. The need to touch, and feel the emotion of another is deeply embedded in our dreams for life. I hope we can all find our way there.