looking into a mirror, connecting with a friend

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By: Jim Dreaver
Jim’s book, End Your Story, Begin Your Life published by Hampton Roads ($16.95) is out in paperback. It has been widely-praised as one of the clearest guides to being awake and free while fully ...
Edited date: November 10, 2022Estimated reading time: 3 minutes

There is a Zen saying: “When you look into a mirror and see no one there, then you are enlightened.”

Gaze at yourself in a mirror, and see yourself with new eyes, with a fresh, open gaze… Without any sense of being a “someone”—a “person” identified with their ego—who is looking back at you…   

If there is a thought or story active in you, experiment with expressing it out loud, saying it, and watching, hearing, feeling yourself saying it as you look into the mirror. You can even dramatize it as you’re saying it, exaggerate it, embellish it… Whatever you need to do to in order to realize you are not it. Rather, you are always, always the conscious human being—the changeless awareness—behind the thought or story you are expressing. 

Then smile, and continue gazing at yourself. Welcome this new “you,” the one who now experiences reality, who sees, hears, and feels it from this clear, spacious, and very present place, from the perfection that is this moment now.   

Finally, say out loud to yourself, “You are a beautiful being… Wise, loving, powerful…”   

Then just be silent, and take those words in. Then let the words go, and just be the wise, loving, powerful being you are.

Now bring your realization into your life, into your world. Whether you’re at home, at work, driving in your car, or traveling on a bus, train, or airplane, or simply walking down the street, know that your “I” thought, your ego—and the limitless power of your mind, of thought and story—is always available to serve you and guide you in your life.

And the main thing you want, you realize, is to smooth and harmonize your communications and conversations with others, so you can really connect with them on the deepest level possible, and create something truly new and wonderful together.

So now find a friend or partner who is willing to do this practice with you, simply sit down, knees touching, and really connect with each other… Meet each other from a place of pure beingness, without any ego agenda, judgment, expectation, or assumptions in the way. If you have some judgment about this person, share it and get it out of the way, so you can connect more deeply with them.  

Then breathe deeply, slowly, and consciously, your eyes gazing at each other in a soft, warm, and welcoming way. Then you go first, saying to your partner, from your heart… “You are a beautiful being… Wise, loving, powerful…”   The other person takes in your communication and then, when they are ready, responds, also in a heartfelt way: “You are a beautiful being… Wise, loving, powerful…”   

You can say this a few more times to each other, pausing for a minute or two between each time to allow you each to really feel into your own hearts…

Then simply allow the energy of the moment that you are both tuned into, guide you both into what to think, say, or do next… As you use the power of imagination, will, and ego to attract what each of you truly wants.

jimdreaver.com

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