forever free forever together

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By: Jenifer Kayhan
Jenifer Kayhan is living in Amstelveen. Originally she is Armenian and she is born and lived in Istanbul till she's got married to her beloved husband and moved to Holland. She is a chemist, ...

forever free together spirituality

“Give the ones you love wings to fly, roots to come back and reasons to stay.” -Dalai Lama.

When I first saw this quote I immediately thought about my husband. From the beginning of our relationship he really gives me wings to fly. He always encourages me to try new things, explore my capacities and makes me realize how much potential I have and push me to use it. (He thinks one day I can win a Nobel Prize in chemistry.) On the other hand as the quote says he gives me roots to come back. He has built a home, a family that I completely belong. I can be myself, I am free but at the same time I belong to him. These days these two concepts can not be put together. You’re either free or you’re with someone as if being in a relationship makes you a possession of the other one. However in a real relationship you belong to someone. Belonging is a sense of security. You feel so secured with him that you trust him like you trust yourself. Isn’t that a great feeling? And with that feeling even if you fly far far away  you will come back and you will stay. I have every reason to stay with him. His love, his tenderness, his caring personality… He deals with me even if I am in my grumpiest mood. He makes me feel like I am the only one that matters.

Then I started to think deeper about this quote. I realized that yoga also gives me wings to fly. With yoga I am liberated from all my tags. I don’t have to be punctual for example or I don’t have to put everything under my control. I can be myself moreover I can be the unknown version of myself because yoga gives me the opportunity, the time to explore new things about myself and make me go deeper to see my inner self. It is an endless journey and that’s why I always come back to my mat. There is a new journey ahead every time when I am on my mat. I see the changes in me. There is nobody to judge me, I have nothing to be afraid of. I don’t need to hide myself. It is only me and my mat.

And I will stay. Once you started practicing yoga you realize that your state of mind becomes peaceful. You try to integrate many of the things you learn in your yoga practice. You become more aware how precious is the moments that we are living now and once you missed them, they would be gone forever. That’s why I ,for example, in the past stayed angry and irritated for some time after a fight with my husband, ruined 30 minutes (or sometimes more) more of our lives just because I don’t want to let go and I want to continue showing more irritation. However nowadays I am training myself first of all to solve the problem immediately (not waiting for him to understand that I am angry) and after the fight I try to change my mood as soon as possible by thinking about good things about our relationship more importantly focusing on the solution of the problem not the reasons of the fight. That way of thinking came with yoga. Of course not after 2 or 3 yoga classes but with regular practice and with going deeper into the practice. It will come to you maybe after 2 months or maybe after years of practice. It takes time for your body, mind and soul to absorb the wisdom of the yogic teachings.

Now I think about the quote again I feel so blessed to have him as my life partner (and try to be the same for him) and to have yoga as my life guidance.

May you always be free like the birds,
“May you have a strong foundation
When the winds of changes shift.”
May you stay forever free, forever together.

P.S. The line between the quotation marks is from the song “Forever Young” by Bob Dylan.

 

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